Life's A Beach

Life is Good Today!

2010-06-29T19:02:00.000-05:00

Life is definitely good today in the words of my new favorite band - The Zac Brown Band. Today I celebrate THREE YEARS of NED status!!! I can't believe that it has been three years. As I look back on these three years I can see so much of my life that has changed. I am so thankful for the family and friends that I have and the life that I have. I can only wish that I keep celebrating June 29th for MANY years to come!

We just returned from our annual trip to Destin and it was amazing! We got some great family pics thanks to my BFF Mary! She would be the other hottie in the pic at the bottom - lol! The girls are doing great - Addison is 4 next month and Mia starts 1st grade! I know - I can't believe they are that old either!! Mike is doing okay - he was diagnosed with diabetes right before we left for our trip. They put him on meds and that along with a sugar free diet is keeping is sugar in line! I am still going to school as well as sewing like a mad woman! I started my little business and sell my items in a consignment store in Lumberton. My nana who was a seamstress would be so proud!

Thanks so much to everyone who offer their prayers and good wishes for me - it really does mean so much to me! Wish me luck in August as I go for scans again!

Another life lost to Melanoma

2010-04-05T08:21:00.000-05:00

On April 1st, Marcus Stanley lost his battle with melanoma. His wife, Mindy, entered my life while I was in the middle of chemo. Dr. Lavalais suggested that I meet them since our stories were so similar. Marcus was diagnosed as Stage III and was about to start the treatments and we both had two little girls. I met Mindy and we immediately clicked. Our girls played at the park as we talked about melanoma and what Marcus could expect with his treatments. I know Mindy was so thankful to be able to connect with someone who was experiencing the same thing, but it felt so good for me to be able to reach out and help someone else.

Marcus had a rough time with the treatments and eventually the melanoma spread to his lungs. Despite the statistics, Mindy kept her faith in God that he would answer her prayers to heal Marcus. I have never witnessed that kind of faith that Mindy has. She was so strong and so graceful, taking care of Marcus and their two daughters with every bit of the kind of faith I long for. Even though God chose to heal Marcus by taking him from this world, Mindy has accepted that and her faith has only become stronger! Wow - she is an amazing woman!!!

So, please wear your sunscreen, don't go to tanning beds and be sun safe. Don't let Marcus' death be in vain. Learn from this tragic loss that melanoma can be prevented. For more on the Stanley family, visit Mindy's blog at www.melanomawife.blogspot.com.

Tis the Season!

2009-12-02T12:43:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted - clearly a sign that I am doing better! I have been coping much better lately, especially since my conversation with Tara's mom. Ever since Tara passed I have had this tremendous amount of guilt that she was taken and I am still here. Same goes for my friend Amy and Mindy's husband who have both progressed to Stage IV. We all started out as Stage III and slowly each has progressed to Stage IV. It is very scary living with the idea that my cancer has a better chance of recurring than not. It makes me thankful for each day I am given.

Those who have kept up with my blog know that I have ongoing struggle with God and religion. It is so hard for me to have faith in anything because of certain things that have happened to me in my life, much less a God I can't even see. However, when talking to Tara's mom, faith began to creep in. I sent her a card to see you she was doing and to express how much Tara had meant to me and I am so sorry she is gone and that I am still here. She called me when she received the card and we both just broke down. She assured me that Tara was watching over me and was not going to let my cancer come back. She said that Tara would not let God do that to me no matter what. She said Tara was angry in the end, but at the same time was glad it was her instead of someone else. I don't know if it's because I want to believe it so much that Tara really is watching over me or because she really is, but I just had a sense of peace after that conversation. A couple of days later I received a package from Tara's mom. It was a James Avery charm bracelet. She said Tara had always wanted one and never had gotten one so Tara had sent her mom to get this one for me. It had an angel charm to represent that Tara is looking after me among other charms.

So, as I move forward into the holiday season, I am so happy to be alive and be loved. I have an amazing life complete with two beautiful girls, a husband that is absolutely the best, a great house and a sense of fulfillment. The fulfillment part had been giving me such a hard time since I stopped working two years ago. But now, I have finally made that transition to being fulfilled without having a career. Thanksgiving was one of the best we have had in a long time. I am so thankful for that!

In other news, Mia turns SIX next week!! I remember when she was born like it was yesterday and now she is growing up so fast. She is so smart and such a happy little girl. We have invited all 8 girls in her class over for a slumber party and I can't wait to see how that goes - she is so excited!

Football season finally ended and we all survived. Mike's team went 4-6, which was a major improvement since they only had one win in the two seasons prior.

School is still going great - I've been at it for over a year now and it has just become part of my life and routine now. I have made all A's and one B and just two more years until I'm done. I don't know if I will actually use my degree or if I will just continue to be a stay-at-home mom and stay stress free. I think being stress free plays a major role in whether or not my cancer comes back, so if we can afford it, I want to stay home.

Addison is doing great. I am so thankful that she and I get to spend everyday with each other. She is enjoying preschool and learning a lot which is good for her and gives me a break as well, even if it is only 4 hours a week.

So, Merry Christmas to everyone and I hope your holidays are great and 2010 treats everyone well! I know I am going to enjoy every minute!

RELIEF, RELIEF, RELIEF

2009-08-12T15:14:00.002-05:00

So, it has been a while since I posted to my blog. I have to admit that I have been somewhat of a basket case this past month. Scanxiety was definitely getting the best of me. I think part of it was Tara's birthday was July 14th, five months after her death. The other part was so many of my connections to people on MPIP.org (Melanoma Patients Information Page) had recurrences or had passed. And, I had a swollen node in my neck that I had to have biopsied which turned out to just be a reactive node. It was just a really difficult few weeks, but thank goodness I had my scans on Monday and Tuesday I was told that I remain NED (no evidence of disease)!! So, that is 2 years and 2 months of NED status. I cannot tell you what a relief it was to hear those words. I feel like a new woman today!! I'm going to really try this next six months til my next scans to not let this cancer get the best of me . . . I hope I succeed!

Onto better things - Mia starts kindergarten on the 24th - I cannot believe it!!! She is so grown up now and she is so excited about it. It feels great to have a child who is excited about school. I'm hoping that Addison and I will have some really good bonding time while Mia is at school and I'm hoping she won't miss her sister too much! I had a great surprise birthday for Mike this past weekend. Well, it was a surprise up until the Wednesday before when Addison let the cat out of the bag. But, it was still a great time and he couldn't believe I had done that for him. Speaking of Mike, football season has arrived and I am a football widow again! The past two weeks have been so bad since two-a-day practices have been in the mornings and he is ususally home by 3 p.m. But, all that will change with the start of school - 7 day work weeks and not getting home until after 8 every night!!

School is still going - I got my first B since I started back, but I'm still pretty proud of myself. Two more years to go!! I really enjoyed the Bible study class I went to thanks to my BFF from school, Mary. It was a great group of women and I even signed up for another class. I still have a lot of issues with religion, but we'll see how it goes!

Until my next update . . .

Happy 4th, Happy Life!

2009-07-05T19:03:00.006-05:00

I had a great 4th of July! We spent it at my sister's house swimming and popping fireworks and it was so nice!!! I am so happy that we moved back from Katy and now I can't help but thinking to myself why we ever moved to begin with. Moving back has made me appreciate home. It feels good to travel the same roads I did when growing up and such a comfort to be near my sister. And, I can't tell you how excited I am that Mia will start kindergarten where I went. Everything has fallen into place and I really feel settled.

I have also gotten to reconnect with my best friend growing up, Mary. She and I had been best friends since junior high and now we both have kids the same age and she teaches at the school Mia will be at. It's so special to be able to share your life with someone that knows your past! She also invited me to a bible study class that I agreed to go to. It has to do with women being frazzled, so regardless of how I feel about religion, it is worthwhile.

We have gotten so many home improvement projects done, but still a lot more to do. Basically, I want to repaint every room in the house, so that has taken a while. Then, the kitchen needed a major overhaul and that is almost complete. Overall, I love the house and feel so at home here. Addison's birthday is in a couple of weeks, so hopefully everything will be ready for her party.

Speaking of birthdays . . . I turn 32 this month!! It's weird that I am now excited about birthdays. If there is one thing cancer does it makes you glad to grow old! I'm so thankful that I am here to celebrate another year. On June 29th, it was my two anniversary of being NED (no evidence of disease). In August I go for my next set of scans and hope that I will be clear again. Coping with the reality of recurrence does become easier, but seems to get harder when the time for scans nears. It really can consume you and I try my best to push those negative thoughts aside, but sometimes it is a struggle. There have been so many of those fighting melanoma that have lost their battle in the past couple of months. It is so sad to see those families go through so much to just lose the battle in the end. They definitely give me something to be thankful for if I didn't have enough already.

Kerri

2009-06-20T09:05:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it has been so long since I posted, but we have been so busy!! We finally closed on the new house on June 3rd and are enjoying it so much. There are so many projects that we're working on to make the house our own, so I'm so glad Mike is off for the summer.

Mia had swimming lessons all last week and did great! She had a smile on her face the whole time and really enjoyed it. She is such a pleaser - she loves to do things right for her teachers and I hope that continues to Kindergarten. She really has matured these past few weeks. She is definitely becoming a big girl that cleans her room (without being asked), helps me out with everything, and isn't whiney anymore. Hopefully she'll stay this way until puberty hits!!

Addison on the other hand is hilarious, but a handful. She is soooooo cute, but has such a temper. I am really going to enjoy the time with just me and her when Mia starts school.

On another note, I have made many connections with people who have melanoma through MPIP.org and sadly there have been a couple of people that have passed this week that put up such a strong fight. It's so sad to see these people fight with everything they have and lose in the end. Sometimes, it is a real struggle to read about those that lose the fight, but I get so much inspiration from that site as well. I have one friend on there that lives in Magnolia that has some swollen nodes in her neck. She is more than 5 years NED, so I'm hoping that it's nothing, but it is so scary when things like this happen. She and I joke that we were separated at birth because we are so much alike. We've never even met in person, but we have so much in common it is ridiculous! I am definitely sending some positive vibes her way.

Mia' First Loose Tooth!

2009-06-01T11:03:00.003-05:00

Mia said her tooth was "Bendy"! It's hard to believe she will be in Kindergarten!

Don't Fry Day!!!

2009-05-22T14:23:00.004-05:00

May, of course, is Skin Cancer Awareness Month and the Friday before Memorial Day marks "Don't Fry Day"! To mark this day on my blog I want to highlight the story of Jaime Regan Rea who lost her battle with melanoma two years ago at the age of 29. Please click on the following link to read her story:

http://www.theschlip.org/jaime%20rea.html

Also, here are some facts for Don't Fry Day, courtesy of Jaime's Remembrance FaceBook page:

Did You Know?
Each year there are more new cases of skin cancer than the combined incidence of cancers of the breast, prostate, lung, and colon.

Did You Know?
Skin cancer is the most common form of cancer in the United States. More than 1 million skin cancers are diagnosed annually.

Did You Know?
It is estimated that one American dies every hour from skin cancer.

Did You Know?
One in five Americans will develop skin cancer in the course of a lifetime.

Did You Know?
Melanoma is the second most common form of cancer for young adults 15-29 years old.

Did You Know?
The incidence of many common cancers is falling, but the incidence of melanoma continues to rise significantly, at a rate faster than that of any of the seven most common cancers.

Did You Know?
Whether from the sun or an artificial source, ultraviolet radiation is known to cause cancer.

Did You Know...
if YOU spread the word about "Don't Fry Day" then more people will KNOW?

We invite you to get involved in raising sun safety awareness. Every voice, action, or effort is another step towards reducing and preventing skin cancer.

Join the Don’t Fry Day campaign to encourage your friends, neighbors, relatives, colleagues, and everyone to be safe in the sun.

Visit: www.skincancerprevention.org

UV Skinz!!

2009-05-11T09:03:00.005-05:00

UV Skinz is a great company that sells UV Protected clothing. They recently featured my story on their blog which you can read by going to http://blog.uvskinz.com/. The clothing is great - I bought a swimsuit for the girls and myself and they are so comfortable! Below is some pics of them in their new swimsuits!!

Melanoma Monday

2009-05-03T19:37:00.021-05:00

Tomorrow marks "Melanoma Monday". In honor of the day and for the whole month of May for Skin Cancer Awareness Month - here is some interesting facts courtesty of h ttp://www.savingskin.com/. Hopefully these facts on what famous people have died or survived melanoma and other skin cancers can reach a few of you out there who are on the fence when it comes to sun exposure.

FAMOUS PEOPLE IN THE SUN - UV damage does not discriminate! The following celebrities have enjoyed the sunlight as much as the spotlight-but have unfortunately paid the price:

Troy Aikman (Dallas Cowboys) - melanoma survivor

Regis Philbin (television/talk show host) - three skin cancers of basal and squamous cell types

Senator John McCain (politician) - three melanomas on shoulder, arm, and temple

Ronald Reagan (former president) - basal cell carcinoma on nose

Maureen Reagan (daughter) - died of melanoma

Bill Clinton (former president) - basal cell carcinoma on back

Sam Donaldson (tv journalist) - melanoma survivor

Bob Marley (legendary musician) - died of melanoma

Roger Moore (actor) - basal cell carcinoma

Burgess Meredith (actor in film Rocky) - died of melanoma

Frank Dicopoulos (soap star-Guiding Light) - basal cell carcinoma

Diana Ashby (wife of NASA astronaut Jeff Ashby) - died of melanoma at 34

George H. Bush (president)- "pre-cancerous" lesions on the face

President George W. Bush - "pre-cancerous" lesions removed

Franklin Delano Roosevelt (president) - malignant melanoma while in White House (unconfirmed)

Dwight Eisenhower (president & general ) - malignant melanoma

John Milford (actor, helped create the Hollywood Walk of Fame) - died of melanoma

Facts and Myths
MYTH: "I don't have to wear sunscreen on a cloudy day."FACT: UV rays are invisible and can reflect through clouds, sand, and snow. Sunscreen with SPF of at least 15 should be applied 365 days a year!

MYTH: "As long as I don't get burned, I'm not at risk for skin cancer."FACT: When UVA and UVB rays absorb into the skin, your body responds by producing more pigment (melanin) to protect from sun damage. Meanwhile, healthy cells begin to mutate after repeated damage and the sun suppresses your immune response. This is the start of a dangerous path to skin cancer, and the process continues the more you expose yourself to harmful rays, regardless of severe burns.

MYTH: "I don't need to worry about the consequences. Besides, only old people develop skin cancer."FACT: The consequences are very real when it comes to the harmful effects of the sun. Skin cancer strikes people of all ages, races, and genders. In fact, melanoma is currently the #1 cancer among 24-29 year olds and the second most common cancer for women between the ages of 30-34. Sun damage (sunspots, wrinkles, etc.) appears with time and continues to accumulate through the years.

MYTH: "Tanning beds are the safe way to tan."FACT: A tan is your body's response to a skin injury, meaning that no tan is a healthy tan. The type of UV light used in tanning salons (UVA rays) causes photo-aging and leads to skin cancer and other skin damage. Remember-great tans make great skin cancers!

MYTH: "I have naturally dark skin. Sun damage does not affect me."FACT: Individuals with dark skin do have more protection from the sun versus a lighter-skinned person, but don't let this fool you. All skin types can develop skin cancer, and everyone needs to be cautious and practice safe preventative measures while enjoying the outdoors!

MYTH: "I'm only attractive when I'm tan."FACT: What's more attractive--a deep, freckled glow with a facial scar from a removed skin cancer or the beauty of a natural skin tone without photodamage? The fact is, many beautiful people (think Marilyn Monroe or Nicole Kidman) have stayed away from the sun's rays and look how successful they were in the beauty department! Focus your energies on getting a glow from the inside out, not the other way around! Besides, a tan is only temporary. Sun damage is permanent! If a tan is absolutely needed in your life, use sunless tanner---the only cheap, "safe" way to tan!

It's Skin Cancer Awareness Month!

2009-05-01T09:09:00.003-05:00

May 1st marks the first day of Skin Cancer Awareness Month. What a great way to start it off with me promoting UV Skinz! This is a company that provides swimwear for kids that is UV protected. They are doing an awesome thing this month in honor of Skin Cancer Awareness. Here is their offer:

In honor of Skin Cancer Awareness Month, UV Skinz is promoting awareness of sun protection and skin cancer prevention by donating up to 3000 Baby Skinz swim shirts; UV Skinz will ship a free Baby Skinz swim shirt with every order placed in May.“The intent is for customers to ‘pay it forward,’” says Rhonda Sparks. “We hope clients will donate the Baby Skinz to a charitable cause of their choice such as a women’s shelter, YMCA or even a neighbor in need. We want to get as many children covered as we can and with each donation, we hope to raise the level of awareness that much more.” Each May shipment will contain a free UV Baby Skinz along with a flyer encouraging customers to pass along the Baby Skinz to a chosen cause. UV Skinz was able to give away about 1,850 swim shirts for the May 2008 Skin Cancer Awareness promotion. The company’s goal this year is to nearly double that as supplies allow.
Babies under age six months should not be in the sun at all. Most pediatricians recommend no direct sunlight exposure for infants within the first few years. However, most infants older than six months regularly spend some time outdoors, even if just for walks in a stroller, and should be sun protected from head to toe. Protecting babies’ skin, regardless of the season, is essential to good skin health and safe sun exposure into adulthood.The National Cancer Institute reports that many common cancer rates are falling, but melanoma rates within the U.S. continue to grow at an alarming rate. Sparks implores parents to cover their children to prevent them from becoming the one in five Americans who will develop skin cancer. “I am doing all that I can to protect my children from suffering the same fate their Father suffered when we lost him to melanoma. I hope our Baby Skinz donation program will prevent more families from being impacted by this devastating disease.” An important part of skin cancer prevention is creating awareness. Creating awareness is all about saving our children's lives in the future. Over 90% of skin cancers are preventable with the right education and awareness. We need you to help us spread the word about Skin Cancer Awareness Month and the "I Saved a Baby's Skin Today" UV Skinz blog campaign!

Check out their website at http://www.uvskinz.com/. I'm so excited to be able to report this on my blog and hope that many of you take advantage of this offer. I truly believe that awareness and prevention are key to reducing the rate of melanoma. Thanks for reading!

What do you do?

2009-04-09T11:55:00.002-05:00

Mia knows I have cancer. She knows it, but she doesn't quite understand it. She knows that's why I had the "bad medicine" (my chemo) and that my bobo on my arm is from too much sun. She knows that's why I have to go to the doctor all the time. That is about the extent of it.

Last night, out of nowhere, she tells me she doesn't want me to die. That's hard to hear from your child, especially when you have Stage III Melanoma. So, what do you do? What do you say? I responded that death was part of life and that everyone dies, but hopefully I won't die for a very, very long time.

And then I went into the bathroom twenty minutes later and completely lost it. Cancer sucks . . .

Some Updates

2009-04-06T13:41:00.007-05:00

Some updated pics of the girls!

Well, everything seems to be going good these days. About a week and half ago Mike and I made the decision to stay with his dad in Beaumont until we sell the house in Katy. We could save on gas and we would get to see Mike everyday. The girls miss him so much when they don't get to see him and I think PawPaw is glad to have us back - even if he complains that he doesn't get to watch the news since it has been replaced by cartoons for the girls. We did get an offer on the house, so hopefully we will get through the inspection and appraisal and should close by the end of April!!

We did a surprise baby shower for Melissa and it went great! We will have Isabelle Grace here on May 15th! I can't wait. It's going to be a great summer - my sister will be off with the boys and the new baby and, of course, we will be off and their new pool is almost finished. So, it is going to be great just hanging out with the new baby and enjoying the pool. This is the very reason I am moving back home - to be close to my family!

School is still going great - I made another A! Hopefully, when Mia starts school I can double up on my classes and get done a lot quicker. I did FINALLY get approved for financial aid (I've only been waiting since October) so that is a relief!

Mike started his new job at LCM as defensive coordinator a couple of weeks ago and I think he is enjoying it. It is such a change for him compared to WOS - he isn't in a room all day with felons!! I feel a lot better about that!

We hope to be living in Orangefield no later than August so Mia can start Kindergarten - I'll update soon!

The Twilight Series and other ramblings

2009-03-16T17:10:00.004-05:00

So, if you are a friend of mine on FaceBook, then you know that I finished reading the Twilight books a couple of days ago. Really, really good books. I got so into those books and I am trying to understand why. My explanation is the Stephanie Meyer did such a great job at creating this breathtaking relationship between Edward and Bella that it just kept you on the edge of your seat to see what was going to happen. Reading books like that makes me want to write. I have always loved to write - always. In high school I wrote a lot of poetry, short stories and stuff like that and it has always been a secret dream of mine to become a writer. Reading those books was very inspirational, but also a little intimidating. How could I ever write something so poignant as that? Anyway, I guess I'm just rambling on now, but I highly recommend reading the series, even though they are considered "teenager" reads!

Everything else is going okay - Melissa had her 3D ultrasound and she is still having a girl and she looks just like Grayson - Isabelle Grace will be her name and I can't wait for her arrival!!! We have had numerous showings on our house, but no offers. Just a lot of good feedback, which really boggles me! Mike and I had our 9 year wedding anniversary on Saturday! NINE years! In some aspects it seems longer, like I can't remember a time without him and in others, it's like we just met. Hopefully we will be able to do something for the 10 year anniversary next year - maybe a return trip to Vegas where we spent our honeymoon. But, I would definitely settle for a trip to New Orleans!

School is great - made another A in my last class! That's a 4.0 since I started back in October. For those who don't know, I take classes through Ashford University's online program. You take one class at a time, but they are only 5 weeks long, so you have a lot of information to get through in that short amount of time. See, I should be working on my research paper right now about the Amish, so I think I'll get back to that while the girls are occupied . . .

Review of SunLife Clothing

2009-03-03T11:59:00.002-06:00

In exchange for my free cardigan I received from Land's End, I am posting my review of the clothing. I have no complaints! It is extremely comfortable and breathes. I have worn it out on walks with the kids to give me some extra protection from the sun and I don't get too hot - it has been in the 70s and 80s on some days! I would definitely recommend the product!

Diamonds are a girls best friend

2009-02-28T19:50:00.002-06:00

Quick, funny story about Mia . . .

She loves to write down our names - ours, hers cousins, people at her old school, etc. So, she has her pad and pen and says, mom, how do you spell jarrett? I didn't know why she would want to spell that. All I could think of was a boy in her class named Garrett. She said, "No, Jared, the galleria of jewelry!" You know, those commercials where the say, "He went to JARED!" That's MIA!

We are officially moving back home!

2009-02-20T17:28:00.001-06:00

The house is on the market!!

http://www.har.com/4011630

We decided that we needed to be closer to family and Mike also was offered a job at LCM so we are moving back. I'm a little sad to leave Katy, but after what happened to Tara, I really feel the need to be close to my family in case my cancer leads me down the same path. You know me - I have to be prepared! I'm looking forward to packing and searching for a new house, but at least I have the time to do it! So, if anyone needs a house in Katy - take a look!

My Ramblings About Life . . .

2009-02-17T21:33:00.002-06:00

There are so many people on this earth . . . 6 billion is the last figure I remember hearing. WOW! I can't even fathom how many people that is. And, here I am one in 6 billion. That is all we are. One in six billion . . . what makes us special? What is our purpose? Do we even have a purpose? I don't know the answer to that question. It seems the older I get, the more death comes into my life - go figure. I guess I should feel lucky that I am even getting older to experience others around me die? That seems so odd to write. So, are we better off living a long life where we deal with the aches and pains and heartaches of aging or living a short life not filled with all that heartache? I don't know the answer to that question either. I often hear that "God has a plan". For those of you who don't know my religious background, I am an athiest. I do not believe in a god or a devil or heaven or hell. I was an athiest before the cancer diagnosis and I remain one after. I think there is no plan. Stuff happens - whether we like it or not. I have cancer because I spent too much time in the sun and in tanning beds. I may die from this because the cells will multiply - not because God wants me here or not. I am able to appreciate the fact that some people need to believe in a higher power, but I am not one of those people. I believe that we make choices that affect our lives, but ultimately, there are things that we cannot control - airplanes falling out of the sky on top of your house, drunk drivers on the road, house fires, etc. And to think that an almighty god has control over these things and lets them happen just baffles me. Why can't people just accept the fact that things happen? Why does there have to be a higher power in control of everything? I know that this revelation about me will probably surprise some people. It's not something that I disclose to just anyone, but it is how I feel. It doesn't change the person that I am. I still love, care, cry, have morals, have ethics. I still teach my children right and wrong and if they choose to believe in a god, that is fine. I will support them in anything they choose.

For the first time today, I did laundry and washed the dishes and was glad that I was even alive to do those chores I hate. I kept thinking of Tara and I bet she would love to be doing those things right now, but she can't. So, maybe I have just answered my own question. Maybe it is better to get older and experience the aches and pain because at least we are still experiencing . .

Horrible News

2009-02-15T15:57:00.003-06:00

I found out today that Tara Swanson passed away yesterday on Valentine's Day of Melanoma. I met Tara through Dr. Lavalais. She was diagnosed a few months before I was and we were both Stage III and we saw the same doctors at MD Anderson. Back in May her melanoma spread to her liver. Tara was always so positive and was a tremendous help to me, giving me all kinds of advice and what to expect with the treatment. I cannot believe she is gone. My mind has been going through so many emotions today - sadness, hurt, anger and guilt. This is a horrible cancer and it has taken such a beautiful and lively person. She tried to keep the news from me about it spreading to her liver in order to protect me from getting discouraged. I did not know her a long time, but I have a feeling that was how Tara was - always thinking about others before herself. I feel guilty that I just had clear scans. It's not fair. Her son must now grow up without his mother and I cannot imagine how her parents are taking this. They were always with her at her appointments and were so supportive. I know she will be missed by so many.

All Clear!

2009-02-13T15:46:00.002-06:00

My scans were all clear! What a relief! They did have to biopsy a spot on my neck, but assuming that turns out to be nothing, I will be good for another six months!

Now, a funny story. So, the girls and I were driving to Target today and I called my sister to get Jake's recipe for margaritas which I wanted to make for me and Mike for Valentine's Day tomorrow. As soon as I hung up with her, my cell phone went dead. No big deal right? WRONG!

We pull into Target and I can't get the key out of the ignition and it won't start either. I start panicking. The girls are in the back seat singing and having a great time. I'm freaking out at this point. The cell phone is dead, so I can't call Mike. And even if I could call Mike he's two hours away! I frantically pull out the owner's manual. After searching for about five minutes I realize what a complete dumbass I was. I didn't put the car in PARK! What was I thinking? I have never done that! Mia's response - "this is why we should take the school bus!" She's crazy!

Which brings me to my next topic. Speaking of Mike being two hours away . . . there's a big chance that we might be moving back home! I know - we just moved here in November, but Mike has an opportunity to coach at another school in that area, so we are contemplating it. I really, really, really like it here, but if Mike wants to coach there, then I will follow where he wants to go. He's the one with the job, not me. And the positive side is that I will be close to my sister again, especially with new baby coming. So, we'll see how it goes. But, honestly, the thought did cross my mind today as I was freaking out in the Target parking lot about how much easier this situation could be resolved if I was back home with family. I had no one to call - even if I hadn't wasted my battery on ingredients for margaritas!! LOL!

Free Shipping on SunLife Clothing

2009-02-03T08:58:00.003-06:00

I got an email yesterday from Land's End saying they read my blog and wanted me to review some SPF clothing for them. They also wanted to give a promotion to anyone that reads my blog for free shipping on clothing.

If you order anything just put in SUNLIFE as the code and 6365 as the pin to receive free shipping.

As soon as I get the clothing I will be putting a review of it on my blog. Take care!

Scanxiety AGAIN!

2009-01-29T16:02:00.002-06:00

It's that time again! In two weeks I go back to MD Anderson for my 6 month scans - the usual MRI of the brain, CT of chest, abdomen and pelvis - with and without contrast - which means I have to drink the damn barium! I hate the crap, but you do what you gotta do!

The closer I get to my scans, the more and more I think about dying of melanoma. Not that the thought doesn't cross my mind each and every day, but it just consumes me a lot more the closer I get. It's bad enough being diagnosed with a horrible cancer, but to have to live with the chance of recurrence is really tolling on me. Remember, if you look at how large my melanoma was, I have a 70% chance of it coming back - coming back in my lungs, brain or any other organ. And if it does that then there is a very small chance that I would be alive in the next couple of years. However, if you look at the fact that the melanoma only spread to two of the 50+ nodes they took out, then I have a 50% chance it's coming back! These numbers drive me insane somedays! They wear on my mind and my heart. Most days I feel as though I'm living on borrowed time and that the cancer will comeback - I know, "I need to be positive!" You try being positive when you look at two little girls that you have created and think that there is a chance you won't be there to see them grow up. It's really hard.

And now I have this problem with lymphadema in the arm that they took all the nodes out of. It gets really swollen and never goes back down to the size of my other arm. I'm going in for some therapy for that, too, so hopefully that will help!

Ok - enough of the this cancer crap - Katy is GREAT! We really like it here. It's nice being so close to Houston, but yet it still feels like a tight knit community. There is always something for me and the kids to do and we even hosted a playdate at our house yesterday. We all had a great time.

School is going great - I made an A in my English class so I'm soaring with a 4.0!! I'm not too excited about the class I'm in now - Computer Literacy. I really have no interest in how the computer works, I just want it to work! I do have to write a research paper on Computer Crimes so that should be interesting!

My sister is only about 3 1/2 months from her planned c-section! Her pregnancy has gone by so fast!! I'm so happy that she is going to have a little girl and it's going to be really interesting to see how Jake is with her. I have a feeling that she will have her daddy wrapped around her finger in no time.

Well, Mia is about to jump of the sofa table, so I gotta go!

My child is addicted to Motrin!!

2009-01-16T10:30:00.002-06:00

So, Mia just got over a really bad sinus infection in which she was taking Omnicef and Motrin. Here's our conversation the other night:

Mia: Mom, why are there no green beans on your plate?

Me: Umm, I allergic to green beans. (Not really, but my kids love green beans and I don't want them stop by telling them I don't like them!)

Mia: Oh, just like I was in the hospital and they put that band around my arm because I was allergic to something.

Me: Yep - You are so smart - how did you remember that?

Mia: Because I'm smart! What was I allergic to?

Me: Penicillen.

Mia: Oh yeah. Do I need to take some grape medicine (Motrin)?

Me: No, you're not sick.

Mia: Well, my tummy hurts. Can I have the purple medicine?

Me: No, that's not for tummy aches.

Mia: It's only for fever?

Me: Yes.

Mia: Well, I think I have fever.

Me: You do not have fever and you are not getting any Motrin!!

Now let's keep in mind that both my parents are addicted to alcohol and pain pills - I'm really getting worried!!!!!!!!!!

Potty Training Trauma!

2009-01-16T09:43:00.002-06:00

So, Addison is 2 1/2. I refuse to potty train. I will not force her to wear underwear and will not religiously take her to the toilet every thirty minutes. I believe when they are ready they will do it on their own. I tried and tried with Mia and when she was almost three she decided that she didn't need diapers anymore. So, I refuse to go through the all the time and wasted energy with Addison. Right now, sometimes she wants to wear underwear and sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes she has days where she will use the potty three times and others she doesn't at all. I always encourage her to do so, but I never force it. But, two nights ago we had a major setback . . .

For some reason, my girls LOVE to be naked. It literally takes me two hours to get clothes on them after a bath. I'm so scared their going to grow up and be in a nudist colony!! Anyway, after bath time, Addison was naked of course. She and Mia were watching TV on the couch in me and Mike's room and Mike and I were in the living room. (Which by the way, never happens! They always hog the big TV in the living room). All of a sudden we hear Addison in a panic screaming POO POO, POO POO. I looked at Mike and said - she's not wearing a diaper and made a mad dash to our room. There's Addison on the couch hovering over a pile of crap with one foot in it! I pick her up getting cleaned up and Mike cleans up the couch (thank goodness it was leather!), but she was freaking out! It literally took her five minutes to calm down. Mike looks at the positive side and thinks that she won't want the poo poo on her anymore, but I think we have setback the potty training by at least two years!!

A New Year

2009-01-06T09:52:00.004-06:00

The holidays have come and gone and we are in a new year. It's hard to believe that it is 2009. It seems like yesterday that there was all the hype about Y2K and the new millennium. I was on chemo for half of 2008, so 2009 has got to be better!

We are getting settled into Katy. The community is really nice and there are so many things to do here. I just wish this weather would cooperate. We have been sick - first me, then Addison had a horrible staph infection and then Mia had a sinus infection. I am ready for spring so we can get outside!

Mike will send in his applications now that football season is over. Maybe there will be an opening, but chances are he won't get a position until May. He stays with us during the weekend and at least 2 nights during the week. It sucks that he's not here everyday, but I have to admit it is so nice to have our own house again. And the girls really enjoy it, too.

I joined a group called Katy Explorers that is a group of stay-at-home moms that have weekly playdates and various activities. We haven't been to a play date yet because of the holidays and weather and sickness, but they have a great message board and anytime I have a question about the area all I have to do is post it and someone will get back to me.

I am halfway through my second class. It feels really good to be doing something that requires some intellectual thought. All that seemed to go out the window when I stopped working, so it does make me feel better. I am glad I get to be home with the girls, but when you have been working since you were 16 it is a bit of an adjustment. It's been a year since I stopped working, but I'm still getting used to being at home.

Everyone take care!

Tanning Essay

2008-12-17T15:19:00.002-06:00

So, if you read my blog, then you know I recently started back to school. I am in the middle of an English Composition class and one of my assignments was to write an argument essay on a controversial issue. Well, I was having a hard time finding a topic to write on. The only thing that would come to mind was gay marriage. And then my brilliant husband said, "Um, why don't you write about tanning beds. You already know all the information to back up your paper." HELLO!! Why didn't I think of that?? So, anyway, I procrastinated and waited til the last hours to submit and I thought I had done horrible. I got my grade today and it was great! The paper is 15 points of my total grade and I got 14.75! I was so excited. So, here is my essay arguing that tanning beds cause cancer!

Dying for a Tan

Kerri Pierce

English Composition 122

Professor Alisa Moore

December 15, 2008

Bronzed and beautiful. In America today, the desire to be tanned has reached epic proportions and cases of skin cancer are on the rise. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, the cases of melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer, have consistently increased, especially for young women who frequent tanning salons (http://www.aad.org). The bottom line is that too much sun exposure can lead to a deadly diagnosis and tanning bed use contributes to these diagnoses.

Unfortunately, I have first hand knowledge of how too much sun can potentially kill. At the age of twenty-nine I was diagnosed with Stage III Metastatic Melanoma. I was an avid tanner and sun worshiper. I remember reading those signs each time I entered the tanning booth. You know, the ones that read beware: this could cause cancer. I thought to myself, “If that were true, how could people be allowed to tan?” Now I know how. The tanning industry is big and they have big bucks to support their cause. With more than one million people tanning each day in a salon, the industry boasts a more than $5 billion revenue each year (Indoor Tanning Fact).

Studies show that tanning beds increase a person’s chance of being diagnosed with melanoma by 55% (Indoor Tanning Contributes, 2006). However, the tanning industry has their own set of statistics. They like to take advantage of the fact that many Americans are Vitamin D deficient. And, what is the quickest way for a person to get a dose of Vitamin D? Through ultraviolet rays found from the sun and emitted from tanning beds. However, dermatologists are quick to point out that people who are Vitamin D deficient can get the vitamin replenished in much safer ways: pop a vitamin or drink a glass of milk. Don’t risk getting skin cancer just to up your intake of Vitamin D.

Another tactic used by tanning salons is to make use of the SAD phenomenon. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is caused by the body being deprived of sunlight. It can cause depression, fatigue, irritability and other symptoms. The best treatment is therapy through a light box, not a tanning bed. Physicians reiterate that exposing one’s skin to dangerous ultraviolet lights is too dangerous. Even the 2008 Vice-Presidential candidate Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin received some criticism when she made it public she had purchased a tanning bed to use at the governor’s mansion. Her purchase was to increase her Vitamin D levels and to avoid health risks and depression (Watson, 2008). I am a Palin fan, but I think she needs further education about the dangers of using tanning beds!

With today’s technology there are better ways to get that sun-kissed glow. Manufacturers of sunless tanning lotions have come a long way in the past decade. One can now get a tan in a can that does not make you look orange. I’ll be the first to admit that pasty skin is less attractive than bronze skin and if I feel the need to be brown, I will definitely reach for the sunless lotion. It’s a much safer option.
Not only are there the sunless lotions, but many celebrities are avoiding the beds and opting for airbrush tans. These are professionally done in the salon, but do not have the adverse affects of the UV exposure and you don’t have to worry about missing areas since you are having it applied for you.

The tanning industry has had to make some concessions in recent years. In most states, individuals must be at least sixteen before they can frequent a tanning salon with their parents permission. They are required to have warning signs posted in tanning rooms. However, with the cases of skin cancer on the rise and the number of people tanning on the rise, it is evident that not enough is being done to protect against a very serious cancer. Trust me, I know firsthand.

References
Indoor Tanning Contributes to Increased Incidence of Skin Cancer. (2006, January 13). Retrieved December 15, 2008 from http://www.health.am/cr/more/ indoor_tanning_contributes_to_increased_incidence_of_skin_cancer/

Indoor Tanning Fact Sheet. American Academy of Dermatology. Retrieved December 15, 2008 from http://www.aad.org/media/background/factsheets/ fact_indoortanning.html

Watson, S. (2008, September 18). Palin's artificial sun shines on local race. McClatchy - Tribune Business News. Retrieved December 15, 2008, from ProQuest database. (Document ID: 1556820441).

Great Melanoma Website

2008-12-10T12:00:00.004-06:00

Someone on the MPIP.org website that I follow everyday posted this link and it is a great website to educate anyone on melanoma. Go to www.skincheck.org. Please pass it on to anyone that you know - it could save someone's life!

We are Katyites!

2008-12-01T17:23:00.002-06:00

We have finally made the move to Katy! We moved all of our things in on the day before Thanksgiving and we love it! WOS lost their playoff game, so I finally have my husband back and the girls have their dad back! The girls love having their own space again and it feels so good to have a house of my own. I'm still trying to make my way around the area, but I know where SuperTarget is, so I'm good!

I just finished my first class - and I start my next class tomorrow. The first was Adult Development and it was a really cool. I haven't gotten my grade yet, but I am very confident that I made an A! Now, I start English Comp. II. I'm sure this one is going to be harder, but hopefully I can manage!

Mia turns 5 on December 11th. It's hard to believe that she is that old and she will starting kindergarten next year. We are having her party at the new house so that our family can come and see the new place.

Anyway - that about covers it!

Melanoma Forever

2008-11-17T10:39:00.003-06:00

This is why Melanoma will ALWAYS be a part of my life. I can never let my guard down!

Ok - this is our new house!

2008-11-13T17:21:00.002-06:00

Really, this is our house now. Long story - our deal fell through on the house! Piece of advice - never try to buy a pre-foreclosure - it is a complete hassle!

But, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I love this house even more and this buying process has been so smooth! We are supposed to close on November 28th, but hopefully it will be next week. The house is larger than the one in Cinco Ranch and the schools are just as good as the ones they would have attended in the other neighborhood. We can't wait to move in!

School is going great! I am halfway through my first class and it has been pretty easy managing everything. I have to write my rough draft of my reflective paper this week so I am a little nervous about that, but I have to say I am really enjoying the online learning process!

Take care!

First Day of School . . . for ME!!

2008-10-28T08:07:00.002-05:00

That's right - today is my first day back to school and I am so excited!! I found an online university where I can do all my classes online to get my degree to teach (except my student teaching of course)! It feels so good to be going back to school to finish my degree. My credits from Lamar will transfer, so hopefully I will be done in about 3 years - just in time for Addison to start school. It's going to be so nice to have a job where Mike and I will both be off at the same time and home when the kids are home. Also, we close on our house this week in Katy and I can't wait to move in!! Wish me luck!

Venting about Breast Cancer

2008-10-21T18:53:00.002-05:00

Ok - Let me preface this with I know that breast cancer is serious and kills many women each year. I feel for ANYONE who is diagnosed with cancer no matter what type!!

That being said, I have been approached five times this month to donate towards Breast Cancer Research!!! What about Melanoma???? Melanoma diagnoses are the fasting rising in all cancers! Melanoma responds to very few treatments! Melanoma is the number one cancer of women ages 18-29!! Melanoma survival rates are horrible if diagnosed at a Stage III or IV! Melanoma can be prevented!!

We need to be focusing on a cancer that is steadily on the rise that can be prevented. Do you know that in Australia your child cannot go to recess if they are not wearing a hat and sunscreen? Prevention starts early. I am convinced that my melanoma was a direct result of the bad burns I got as a child. Where is the money for melanoma?????

So, each time I got a phone call or someone at the store I asked me to donate to breast cancer, I simply said, no I have Stage III Melanoma and feel my money is better used towards research of that cancer!

Sorry - just had to get that out!!!!

Fall is in the air!

2008-10-21T17:31:00.002-05:00

Here's the girls at the Pumpkin Patch. They had a great time picking out the pumpkin. We carved a flying witch on a broomstick later on that day. Can't wait for Halloween. Mia is going to be Tinkerbell and Addison is going to be a pink witch. I'll post more pics after Halloween! Then, November 1st is MOVING DAY!!! All of our stuff is in storage, so in order to not pay another month of storage we are moving all of our stuff into the garage at our new house on that day. We are so excited!!

We got the house!

2008-10-17T13:44:00.003-05:00

Well, this is our new house in Cinco Ranch in Katy!! We close on October 30th and are so excited! The neighborhood and community are just beautiful and the schools are one of the best in the nation. Now, Mike just has to find a job! So, in the meantime, we will be living there on the weekends and during breaks like Thxgiving, Christmas and Spring break.

It is going to be so nice to have our own house again. I can't wait to paint and decorate and get settled in. We are only 1/4 mile from the elementary that the girls will attend and a mile from Cinco Ranch Jr. High and High School. Their campus is the size of Lamar University (not really, but it is huge). The neighborhood is fairly new - the house was built in 2004 and there is a great community swimming pool and playground for the girls. Everyone take care and I'll let you know how the move goes!

Baby on the way!!!

2008-10-08T17:07:00.002-05:00

No, I'm not pregnant . . . but my sister is!!! This will be number 3 - she has two boys and is dying for a girl!!! I can't wait to be an aunt again!!

Life has gotten back to normal since the Hurricane. We are all doing good. We have made an offer on a home in Katy (west of Houston) and are very excited. For those of you who don't know, we made the decision to leave the Beaumont area. When we evacuated for Gustav we stayed one night in Katy and just kept asking ourselves why we don't move. After weighing all the options we really think this is the best move for our family, but I'm really going to miss my sister! Houses are better and cheaper, Mike can make way more money there and there are so many opportunities for the girls. The house we put the offer on is in Cinco Ranch and has a community pool. It was built in 2004, is 2-story and is perfect for us. We are so excited!! Cross your fingers that we get it!

Everyone take care!!

Hurricane Ike SUCKS!!!

2008-09-25T11:22:00.003-05:00

Well, we finally got power on Wednesday and cable and internet yesterday. We evacuated to The Woodlands which turned out not to be the best of places to go. The wind and rain were very scary and when we went outside the next day it looked like Hurricane Rita when it hit Beaumont three years ago. So, we were on a generator for almost 2 weeks. I have watched the second season of Dexter, the second and third season of Supernatural, a ton of movies and half of the first season of Californication. Thank goodness for DVDs!!!

The girls finally were able to go back to school today, so I got a little break, which I have used by cleaning house - YUCK! Mike had to go back to school on Monday. I'm just glad that things are beginning to get back to normal. I feel so bad for all the families that were affected. Fortunately, our house faired well, but the house we sold back in March had a tree go through Mia's room! Here's a link to some pretty crazy pictures from the storm: The short - but eventful - life of Ike.

Unfortunately, we had to cancel our girls weekend trip that we have had planned for about 3 months now. We were supposed to leave Saturday! A bunch of us were getting together to go to Galveston - what a place to pick! But, we will just have to reschedule for sometime soon!

Hurrication thanks to Gustav

2008-09-01T17:35:00.002-05:00

So, when you live on the Texas Gulf Coast sometimes you are in the path of a hurricane and have to take a mini-vacation. With Hurrican Rita I would not refer to that as a Hurrication because we were displaced for so long, but with Gustav we left to be on the safe side and got a couple of days away. We went to New Braunfels and had a great time. We took the girls to the Natural Bridge Caverns and to the Snake Farm and drove down River Road. We so wanted to jump into the Guadalupe and float down the river. In fact, we were going to that today, but we came home this morning hoping to miss the traffic coming back in which we did. I'm so thankful that Gustav did not affect us like Rita and it looks like New Orleans did okay too. We're all doing good and the girls get to have some unexpected time with their daddy!

Yoga is HARD!!

2008-08-26T19:15:00.002-05:00

So, I decided now that the girls are back in Mother's Day Out and Pre-K, that I would have time to do yoga (I've always wanted to do it, but never have). I went to a class today and it really is challenging in a good way. I felt really stretched, relaxed and calm, so I am going back tomorrow! Less stress means less chance of cancer coming back!

My appt. at MD Anderson went well. My eyes are just what the doctor in Beaumont said - vitreous detachment. The physical therapist gave me a sleeve to wear for my arm and exercises to do. Basically, my right arm is 11% bigger than my left arm, which isn't too bad, but I'm supposed to wear my sleeve ALL THE TIME, except when I'm sleeping. I don't think I can conform to that. They said it was important to wear it when I fly, am in the car a long time, exercising, etc. So, I will try and wear it then.

Mia's first day of Pre-K was good. She was upset that she wasn't staying until 2 p.m, which I thought was a good sign. Addison felt comfortable as soon as she saw Ms. Amy and her friend Addison Peacock!

Back to MD Anderson

2008-08-20T20:06:00.002-05:00

Well, Friday I go back to MD Anderson. Nothing too important though. I have a little bit of lymphadema in my arm where I had my surgeries, so I have to go for a physical therapy evaluation. They will probably just tell me to do some exercises and fit me for a compression stocking for my arm, which will be fine with me. I don't want the lymphadema to get worse! And after that I have an appointment with an ophthalmologist at MD Anderson. Back in January I started seeing floaters and spots. I went to a local oph. and he said I had a vitreous detachment and my brain would just get used to seeing the spots and I wouldn't notice it. When I mentioned this to the oncologist at MD Anderson he thought it would be wise to get a second opinion from someone at MDA. He thought maybe I was too young to have that happen. Anyway, I still see the spots, my brain has not gotten used to it, but I don't think there is anything you can do to treat it. It just makes you more susceptible to having a retina detachment which is not a good thing. You could lose your eyesight if that happens.

Mike's first scrimmage was against Dayton last week. They lost 28-21, but he wasn't too worried about it. They scrimmage Vidor this week and then it's the first game of the season!! I hope it flies by!! Addison and Mia don't really get to see Mike until the weekends because they are asleep when he leaves and asleep when he gets home, but we always text him during the day and send him pictures to keep in the loop.

Mia starts ballet lessons tomorrow. She has been begging for over a year to go, but last year with all the surgeries and starting the interferon, I just couldn't manage it. So, she is so excited. Half the time she says she wants gymnastics lessons and the other half it is ballet, so she is in a class that half the time they do ballet and the other half is acrobats. She is getting so big and grown-up. Next week is her first day of Pre-K. She is going to St. Andrews Monday-Thursday from 8:45 - 11:45. Addison will be going to - she LOVES going to school. I think it's really good for her to be around other kids and she learns so much. Plus, it gives me time to do my running and run my errands. I think a less-stressed mom is a much better mom!!

So, we sold the land in Orangefield and have decided to just buy a house there instead of build one. We just kept weighing the options and it would be so much easier to buy than build. I get get so much more house for less money. It would be nice to have a brand new home, but practicality wins over what I want. So, wish us luck in finding the right house and getting our financing. The financing is so much harder to get since all of the housing stuff has been going on. The lenders have gotten so stringent on their requirements, but we've been working on getting our credit up to par, so hopefully we will be back in our own house very soon. I appreciate everything that Mike's dad has done for us, but there's nothing like having your own place with your own family!!

Hope everyone is doing well ! I'll post later!

My New Motto

2008-08-12T19:23:00.003-05:00

"Love the Life You Live AND Live the Life You Love" - This is my new motto.

Life is so complicated, yet so simple. We, as humans, make it complicated. If we could live our lives by those words, the world would be a better place. You see, we are given just one life. One life to make a difference. One life to mean something. One life to be an inspiration. One life to be thankful.

There are so many members of my family that just don't get that. My family is full of ignorances, selfishness, inane dependencies, so much that they will never understand how precious life is.

Love the Life You Live - Unfortunately, it took cancer for me to do that. But, I truly do love the life I live. I was given this life and for the most part, I have made the best of it and I love it. I may not have done something amazing that has impacted the world, but I have done the best that I could. I am raising two beautiful girls that will be productive members of society. I have a marriage that I am EXTREMELY proud of. And I have surrounded myself with people that I truly love and who love me. I don't waste time on people that aren't real with me.

Live the Life You Love - This is more important than the first. You can love your life, but if you don't make a CONSCIOUS effort to live it, it will fall apart. See, there are tons of people that love the life they live, but along the way they begin to take things for granted and eventually, their lives fall apart and things change. You have to remember each day to LIVE that life that you have loved so much. You have to treat it as something very precious and not just assume that it will always be there. You have to work at your marriage, take pride in your work, mold your children each and everyday. You have to live each day to keep that alive.

In my short 31 years on this earth, I have learned so much. I have learned that being related to someone doesn't take precedence over others in my life. Blood is just blood. People that love me and care about me more that my relatives have proven this time and time again. I have learned that love is not just about being happy, but it is about realizing what you have by going through very difficult times with someone and being able to look back and say we have made it this far. It really makes you appreciate each other more. I have learned that no matter how hard I try, my patience still gets the best of me. I have learned that forgiveness is not for the other person, but is for me to free myself from the other person's hold on me. I have learned that beautiful memories of one person should not be tainted by the evil words another has to say about that person. Unfortunately, I learned that lesson a little too late.

Well, the girls are tearing the house down as I am typing this, so I have to go. It feels so good to get my thoughts down on the screen. I hope that someone can connect to the way I feel.

RIP Grandma Ann

2008-08-11T19:50:00.004-05:00

The last of my grandparents has now passed. Everyone said I looked like her!

Ann Ruth Gaudet
Born in Wiergate, Texas on Jun. 14, 1930

Departed on Aug. 11, 2008 and resided in Vidor, TX.

Visitation:
Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2008
Service:
Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2008
Cemetery:
Sycamore Cemetery
Please click on the links above for locations, times, maps, and directions.

Ann Gaudet, 78, of Vidor died August 11, 2008 at Vidor Manor Nursing Home. Born June 14, 1930 she was a native of Wiergate, TX. Her family moved to Beaumont in 1944. She Moved to Vidor in 1964. She is survived by her husband James Gaudet and four sons, Jim McGlothin of Natchitoches, LA, Donnie McGlothin and his wife Patricia of Beaumont, TX, Bruce McGlothin and his wife Paula of Vidor, TX, Steven McGlothin and his wife Lisa of Deweyville, TX, also two stepsons Romney Gaudet of Houston, TX, and Roger Gaudet of Mauriceville, TX, and one stepdaughter Renota Gaudet of Houston, TX. She has 12 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren. She has one sister Irene Williams and her husband Jim of Port Arthur, TX. Preceding her in death were her parents Louis and Delaney West and two brothers Oscar and John W. West. Funeral services will be held at 10:00 a.m. Wednesday, August 13, 2008 at Memorial Funeral Home of Vidor, with burial to follow at Sycamore Cemetery in Burkeville, TX, at 2:00 p.m.. Visitation will begin at 6:00 p.m. Tuesday, August 12, 2008 at Memorial Funeral Home.

Clear for Another Six Months!!

2008-08-10T09:54:00.003-05:00

Everthing went well at MD Anderson. All my scans were normal and no new lesions looked suspicious so I go back again in February. I also found out how Tara was doing. They have her in a clinical trial and she is responding to the treatment - YEAH!!

So, I have recently taken up jogging as my exercise of choice. It really helped me lose weight after the babies and I need something that I can do to keep me healthy that will become a part of my lifestyle. I am going to run my first 5K in October in The Woodlands. I am also about to organize a 5K Walk/Run in Beaumont in May for Skin Cancer Awareness Month which I am REALLY excited about. If anyone has any advice or wants to help out, please let me know.

SCANXIETY

2008-07-27T15:35:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I turned 31!!! Forget being depressed about turning another year older, I'm just happy to be here!!! Next week (August 6-7) I have to be at MD Anderson for my CT scans and MRIs. I am particularly nervous about these scans since it will be my first ones since I have been off the Interferon. I am really trying to be positive about it, but if there is one thing that melanoma causes it is paranoia. I cough and I think the melanoma is in my lungs. I have diarrhea and I think it is in my colon. I have a headache and I think it is in my brain. It really sucks, but I have been told by other survivors that it does get easier as time passes. I was emailing another melanoma patient and she feels the exact same way I do in terms that it feels like it's only a matter of time before it comes back. The stats just suck. I could be so much more positive if I only had a 20% chance of it returning, but when you have a 50-70% chance, it's really difficult.

Okay, enough of melanoma . . . . Addison turned 2!! I can't believe it. We had a party at the house and she had a blast. She is such a big girl now.

Mike started back to work on Wednesday. The coaches had to go back that soon, so it really sucks that he's not here anymore. Addison asks all day where her daddy is. But we did have a great summer. It was so nice for all of us to be home together, but now we enter football season - Go 'Stangs!!

NED 1-Year!!!!

2008-06-29T19:35:00.002-05:00

So, today is a big day for me. Today marks one year that I have been NED which means NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE. For melanoma patients we don't refer to ourselves as being in remission. We mark our progress with how long it has been since the surgery removed the disease. So, even though my chances are high that it will return, the longer I can go without a recurrence the better the chances it won't come back. I'm on a schedule to have scans done every six months and will be at MD Anderson in August for that. It will be my first scans since stopping the Interferon, so I'm a little nervous. If I can make it to 5 years NED that is a true milestone and that is what I'm striving for. Take care everyone!

Life's A Beach

2008-06-28T10:48:00.002-05:00

So, I thought maybe I was giving cancer too much attention by naming my blog "Kerri's Cancer Journey." My life is about so much more than just cancer, so I have renamed it "Life's a Beach". Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE the beach, especially Destin, Florida where I have been going since I was a kid. Ironically, it probably contributed to my melanoma, but now I play it safe by staying in the shade lathered in sunscreen!

We were in Destin a couple of weeks ago and it was a great vacation. We had a house directly on the beach. It was so nice to wake up, drink coffee on the balcony and enjoy the gorgeous view. It really got me thinking about life. People always say life's a beach and it really is. You have days where the beach is sunny and perfect and then there are days where storms come in. You have days where the waves coming crashing in one on top of the other and days were the water is flat and slick. All of these things are reflective of issues we have in our lives. Maybe that's why I have always felt so connected to the ocean. I just feel at ease and at peace there.

Everything is going pretty good. We have bought some land in Orangefield only a couple miles from my sister and are going to build soon. It's going to be so nice to have my kids go to school where I did. And to top it off, my best friend growing up is teaching 1st grade there and Mia and her son are the same age!

On a sad note, one of the women who had melanoma that I keep up with passed away while we were in Florida. She was only 22 and the disease just took over her body. She was such an inspiration to so many people. You can check out her link on my blog where my Melanoma patients are listed. Her name is Michelle Rigney.

Giving Melanoma Some Much Needed Attention

2008-06-11T14:49:00.005-05:00

I contacted the Beaumont Enterprise to get the word out about how serious Melanoma is. Melanoma diagnoses are the fasting growing among all cancers, yet few people know about it. The following article appeared in today's paper!!

Beaumonter hopes to warn others after skin cancer diagnosis

By SARAH MOORE, The Enterprise

06/11/2008

Updated 06/11/2008 12:37:41 PM CDT

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	Currently battling metastatic melanoma, Kerri Pierce displays a scar received from a surgery that removed a large tumor from her upper arm. The rigorous cancer treatment she’s on ‘makes you feel like you have the flu for a year,’ she said. (Guiseppe Barranco/The Enterprise)

BEAUMONT - The weekend before she was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma, Kerri Pierce spent several hours basting in the sun.
The 30-year-old Beaumont resident frequented tanning salons to maintain her sun-kissed glow, ignoring the big sign over the tanning bed that read: "Warning. This can cause skin cancer."
If it really caused cancer, how could it be allowed?

MORE ON THE NET

Melanoma Patient's Information Page

Kerri Pierce's blog

Melanoma patient's blog

Cure magazine article on skin cancer

Like other avid tanners, Pierce was in denial, said her oncologist, Dr. Gwendolyn Lavalais.
Both tanning beds and frequent sunburns can provide the kind of excessive exposure to ultraviolet rays that can trigger skin cancers.
While some forms such as squamous cell and basal cell carcinomas are more easily removed, others, such as melanoma, are highly aggressive and life-threatening when spreading to the lymph nodes and throughout the body.
Even with aggressive treatment, only a small fraction of patients with malignant cancers detected past the earliest stages recover, Lavalais said.
"The response rate is poor and the ... drugs difficult to administer - to tolerate," she said, adding that the year-long treatment is excruciating. "It makes you feel like you have the flu for a year."
Melanoma, while still a small percentage of skin cancers, is the most rapidly growing type of cancer, according to the National Cancer Institute.
From 1973 to 2002, the melanoma diagnosis rate more than doubled from 5.7 to 14.3 per 100,000 people.
It isn't "just skin cancer," said Pierce, who was diagnosed with the disease about a year ago and started what was supposed to be a year-long course of chemotherapy in August.
After a grueling nine months of treatment, she developed a reaction to the drugs and had to stop.
How it began
Pierce had a cyst under the skin on her arm for years, but a doctor told her not to worry about it.
When it began to show a bluish cast, she had it removed because she got tired of people asking about the bruise on her arm.
The tumor was much larger than she expected.
Her dermatologist biopsied the mass "just to be on the safe side."
He told her she had melanoma and referred her to M.D. Anderson in Houston, where doctors removed lymph nodes near the site of the tumor to see if the cancer had spread.
It had.
"I freaked out," Pierce said. "I had prepared myself - but I was still upset. I was shaking, crying."
Because she is so young, her doctor recommended removing all the lymph nodes in her neck and under one arm, followed by aggressive treatment with interferon, a type of chemotherapy.
"That surgery was hard," she said, confining her to bed with drain tubes for two weeks.
Interferon treatment causes nausea, fever, chills and body aches. Depression also is a side effect of the treatment, although Pierce isn't sure whether it's the chemicals or the fact that she has a life threatening illness that gives her the blues.
"Some days I don't get out of the recliner," she said.
Feeling as if she wasn't able to be a good mom or wife, she threatened to quit treatment.
Her doctor gently pointed out that she would do a better job caring for her family alive than dead - and that fighting the illness was her duty as a good wife and mother.
Even with this aggressive treatment, doctors gave her only a 10 to 15 percent chance of recovery - and there's a high probability (50 to 70 percent or more) that cancer will recur in another place within the first two years, Pierce said.
Lavalais recommends using sunscreen and avoiding excessive exposure, as well as paying attention to moles. She directs patients to Web sites such as the Mayo clinic.
Once-a-year examinations by a dermatologist also are recommended for people with risk factors, such as those with many moles or who have had melanomas before.
Three or four severe sunburns in childhood double the risk of developing melanoma, Lavalais said.
"Water babies like to go out and play," she added. "You've got to make sure they have good coverage; make sure they're protected. That's really important."
Even adult sunburns create an increased risk of melanoma.
Lavalais said "intense intermittent sun exposures and burns" increases the risk factor more than for people like carpenters or landscapers who work outside and stay tanned much of the time.
Those people are more likely to develop non-malignant skin cancers.
Pierce now is sunscreen's biggest advocate. If she had it to do over again, she would shun the sun and learn to embrace her naturally fair skin.
When she completes her treatment, Pierce plans to visit high schools and other youth organizations to talk about how serious skin cancer is.
Despite the pain and misery of her fight against cancer, it hasn't been all bad.
Before her illness, Pierce, a wife and mother of two young daughters, defined herself by her job, proud of her occupation as the manager of a medical practice.
Now, with melanoma threatening to take her life, it's forced her to look again at her priorities.
"I don't care so much about my job. That was who I was, before. It defined me. It was my purpose, even more than being a mom and a wife. I felt really proud of what I had done and I enjoyed it a lot."
Now, time with her family is the most priceless thing she has and she values the little things in life more.
Her illness has brought her closer to her husband, Mike, and helped her see what an extraordinary man she married.
"He has been - I cannot tell you - he has been so good throughout this whole process," she said.
In her blog, Pierce sings his praises:
"Love is actions. Love is holding the pan for me when I'm vomiting from anesthesia ... Love is telling me I'm beautiful when I'm bald. Love is helping me clean when I'm too tired to do it myself ... And love is knowing I can always count on him to be there for me."

Rest In Peace

2008-05-31T10:23:00.003-05:00

Kathy Anders
January 9, 1944 - May 26, 2008

My Aunt Kathy passed away on May 26th. She was diagnosed with cancer of the vulva and was doing radiation treatment when they found out it had spread to her lungs and there was nothing more they could do. She was told May 22 that she would have six months to live and then four days later she passed. My heart goes out to my cousins Krissy, Selena and especially Denise and Lance who have taken care of her.

End of a Chapter

2008-05-23T11:13:00.002-05:00

It is with great happiness and unexpected regret that I have to say I am finished with my Interferon treatment for my melanoma!! I made 9 months out of the 12 months I was supposed to complete and I am proud I made it that far. There are some days that I felt so bad I thought I couldn't go on with the treatment - thank goodness for pep talks from Dr. Lavalais and family and friends. Part of me is so happy to be able to move on with my life and begin doing things that I feel are important. The other part of me hates that I wasn't able to finish the last three months and do everything I can to prevent this from coming back.

I developed a reaction to the Interferon - I started breaking out in huge hives, so that is the reason I am done. I just want to say thanks to everyone for their support through the past 9 months. I appreciate all the concern and prayers and now I am moving on with my life!! I will still have to have CT scans and MRIs every 6 months because I have a 50-70% chance that the cancer will return, but I am not going to spend my time worrying about at that. I am going to spend my time enjoying life, my husband and my kids!

Positive thoughts for my melanoma friend

2008-05-15T08:52:00.002-05:00

I went to MD Anderson on Tuesday and as soon as I got off the elevator, there was Tara. I met Tara through our oncologist, Dr. Lavalais. She introduced us because she was diagnosed with melanoma about 4 months before I was. We are the same age, both have 2 year olds, have the same doctors at MD Anderson and the same oncologist here in Beaumont. She lives in Nederland. We both are the same stage, IIIA. The only difference is her melanoma was on her leg and mine is on my arm. We immediately connected and she helped me so much prepare for my Intereferon treatment and gave me tons of advice. It has been so nice to have someone going through what you are going through because they completely understand.

I hadn't talked to Tara in about 2 -3 months, but I always asked about her when I saw Dr. Lavalais. The day I ran into her at MD Anderson I was going to call her to talk to her about disability stuff and there she was. Then, she told me the news. The melanoma has spread to her liver - she is now a Stage IV. She was so positive and was going to find out that day if the IL-2 treatment she was on was working. I tried to call her yesterday for her results, but I had to leave a message for her.

So, please keep her in your prayers if you are a religious person or send her some positive thoughts if you are not. In the melanoma world they call this disease "The Beast" because it is so hard to beat. People have a misconception about melanoma. They think it is just skin cancer. But, melanoma is one of the worst types of cancers to have if it is not caught early. It can spread from your skin to any organ in your body and it doesn't respond to chemo and radiation like other cancers.

For my beautiful husband

2008-05-02T18:09:00.003-05:00

Anyone who knows Mike and I knows that we have had our share of ups and downs, but being together for almost 11 years, that is kind of to be expected. We have made two beautiful girls together and have come close to divorce (thankfully we stuck it out). I really just wanted to take this opportunity to express how much I love him and appreciate everything that he has done and continues to do for me.

Mike is eternally optimistic about the cancer, never wanting to believe that it could kill me, but at the same time he says we will deal with whatever happens. I tend to be pessimistic about all of it, but I'm working on that. It's kind of a bad thing to admit, but I was never secure in our relationship until a couple of years ago. I don't know why I always felt I wasn't good enough for him, but all that changed when we went through a rough patch and our relationship completely changed for the better and I will never question his love for me, nor my love for him.

Shortly after that period is when we found out I had Stage III Metastatic Melamona. And through my two surgeries and chemo, his love for me was validated even more. See, love is not words. Love is actions. Love is holding the pan for me when I'm vomiting from anesthesia. Love is cleaning my incisions three times a day. Love is washing my hair and bathing me when I couldn't do it myself. Love is emptying out my surgical drain tubes for three weeks. Love is telling me I'm beautiful when I'm bald. Love is helping me clean when I'm too tired to do it myself. Love is getting up with Addison at night when he is the one that has to get up early and go to work. And love is knowing that I can always count on him to be there for me.

So, I just want to say thank you to my wonderful husband for all things that you do to make my life so complete. I love you so much.

A Great Day

2008-04-29T17:59:00.004-05:00

Took the girls to Claiborne Park today and it was great. The weather was perfect, the girls were good and it was so peaceful. We took a picnic, fed the ducks and went on the hiking trails. I swang on the swings like I was a kid and it felt really good. I feel so thankful to be able to spend time like this with my girls. A short time ago I wouldn't have had the time to pick berries with them or show them how to get the juice out of honeysuckles or look for alligators in the pond. LIFE IS GOOD!!

How My Cancer Journey Began

2008-04-26T19:23:00.003-05:00

I noticed I had a lot of people view my blog since I posted it on www.mpip.org, so I wanted to let everyone know about how my melanoma began. So, here is my story.

If you look close in the bottom picture you can see the spot on my right arm just below my sleeve.

The picture on top is my first wide local excision that was done. The second one was bigger than that with 20 stitches.

My melanoma was weird. It wasn't a mole. It felt like a cyst underneath my skin that had been there for 8-9 years and then for about a year I started getting a blue tint on top of my skin where the cyst was. I went to dermatologist to have it removed because I got tired of people asking me where I got the bruise from. The derm said at the time he took it out that it was probably just a cyst, but would send it to the lab just to be sure. 20 days later I got the call from him saying it was "minimal deviation melanoma" and that some people wouldn't even call it melanoma. He referred me to MD Anderson in Houston and they said we don't think it's melanoma and we will do our own biopsy. After they got their results back it still came back inconclusive, but they wanted to treat it like it was melanoma to be on the safe side. So I got a WLE on my arm and SNB. I knew at that point I had cancer even though they told me I didn't and somehow I knew it spread to my lymph nodes. I can't explain it, but I just knew. So, the path report came back that it was definitely melamona and it was huge and it had spread to one lymph in the neck and one under the arm. I had a second WLE to remove more tissue since it was so big and had all the nodes removed. I began Interferon treatment in August 2007.

Bald is Beautiful

2008-04-24T15:46:00.004-05:00

Well, my hair was beginning to come out heavily and was very dry and brittle so I took matters in my own hands and shaved it off!! I must say it was kind of liberating. I thought I would cry, but it was a good experience. Mia and Addison didn't know what to think at first, but they enjoy rubbing it!

1 - year anniversary

2008-04-14T16:25:00.003-05:00

It's hard to believe that it has been nearly a year since I was diagnosed with Stage III Melanoma. My life has changed so much during this past year. One year ago I was running a medical practice and ambulance company, my kids were in daycare full time and I was healthy. Fast forward one year and I have had two surgeries, an 11 mm melanoma removed and 50+ lymph nodes from my neck and underarm, 8 months into chemotherapy and staying at home with my kids. We sold our house and moved in with family.

Despite all of those changes, I still have to say "Thank You" to the cancer. Despite having a high recurrence rate and going through hell on this chemo, cancer has changed my life for the better. My eyes have been opened to what life is all about and what is important. I used to think that my job defined who I was, now I believe that is farthest from the truth. YOU define who you are, not your job, not your house, not even your children. It is so freeing to have a new perspective. For once in my life I feel like I am able to live how I want to live. I could not choose whether or not to have cancer, but I have been able to choose how I let it affect my life. It has taken a while to get to this point and my journey is still continuing and hopefully it will be a long one . . .